If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Earl Wilson
Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think that she's attractive to the opposite sex. - Earl Wilson
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't. - Earl Wilson
If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death. - Earl Wilson